Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
