Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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