Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
