insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
