i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
