Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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