I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
