She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize