Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
