She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The feeling are messing with the penis
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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