belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
