Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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