I'm eating all of the evidence.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
