So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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