Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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