apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
