He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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