WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
this hospital has no fireball
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
