do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
