i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
did i just pee glitter
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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