omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
