do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
