omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
be right there i have to get my cape
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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