First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
