I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
