I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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