We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
