Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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