I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
