what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
