were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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