dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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