Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
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