We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
