If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
