they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We're using joints as your birthday candles
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
