My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
