We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
