my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
