we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
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