You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Drake has all the answers
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
