my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
