I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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