Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
