every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize