I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
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