my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
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