Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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