that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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