i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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