Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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