He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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