Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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