we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
