Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
