dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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